Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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