He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
