Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
