I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
