Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
