I am full of burrito and curiosity
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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