Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
