Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
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