why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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