Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
