Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
