i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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