I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
