You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
