she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
this hospital has no fireball
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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