Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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