so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
