Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
