What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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