Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Randomize
