he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
