Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
