How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
