I want to walk on stilts...naked
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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