He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
