why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
