Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
