You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
