Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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