ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
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