i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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