hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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