my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
