Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
