That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
