Christians are straight up FREAKS
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
