when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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