how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He felt like a one man threesome
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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