I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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