Hey man sorry I got all grabby
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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