PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
