Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
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