I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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