his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
