You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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