literally had 100 drinks last night.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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