in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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