Soap is not a condiment
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
