Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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