Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
