..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
