Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
